Stealing Henry’s Bacon

Even though that’s all he had

In elementary school, we played a game called “steal the bacon,” and I was one of the great bacon thieves.

Here’s how it worked.

Two competitors stood at opposite ends of the gym. The bacon, a rag, waited on the half-court line. When the gym teacher wasn’t getting fired for…



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Daniel Williams

A poverty-stricken, soft Batman by night. Illustrator and writing teacher by day. Previously: McSweeney’s, Slackjaw.